Marriages under threat : Legal sanction to live-in relations
Submitted by: Dipayan Mazumdar & Associates
2009-10-16 05:39:58
Marriages under threat : Legal sanction to live-in relations
Marriages under threat : Legal sanction to live-in relations? October 16, 2009
s
New Delhi, (DMA Newsdesk):According to a saying, "Happiness in marriage is not so much finding the right person as being the right person."
If it's easy to change one partner for another, where's the incentive to develop staying power in a relationship?
However, true the saying might be an increasing number of couples are opting for 'cohabitation' over 'marriage', be it in western countries or India and with supreme court giving legal sanction to live-in relationships the institution of marriage is under threat.
But is our society ready to accept a couple living together without exchanging wedding vows against those who still believe in tying the sacred nupital knot ?
It is interesting to note that this is a much-debated topic is discussed widely on the internet under the cloak of anonymity.
Marriage as an Institution is very old and popular in most parts of the world. But recent trends show that many people are opting out of it and preferring the less commited form of " living in " . It has been a popular thing in the Western part of the world , where people are afraid of going through another marriage ...so another divorce ....and the problems that come with divorce ....dividing up property , alimony , issue of child custody etc etc .
But in India it too has become a common thing , not yet popular ....but still you hear of more people " living in with each other " You hear it most in circles where people work in advertising , hotel ,airlines or people in the art industry - music , theatre etc . We still see living in a choice by what we consider " modern thinkers " or crazy arty people .
Why has the institution of marriage been so successful? The answer is that it caters to a primal human need. Man is essentially a social animal. Life for us is a long journey full of challenges and problems. We do not want to wade through it alone, but crave for company and loyalty of another individual who will provide a shoulder to lean on and share some of our responsibilities. Thus, our ancestors created the institution of marriage in which two adults of opposite sex formally tie the knot in a socially and legally accepted and enduring bond that is meant to last an entire lifetime.
In the last few decades, though, this time-tested arrangement has come under threat. Unbelievable as it may sound, marriage has begun to lose its importance and sanctity. People today ask: "Do we need to get married at all when we can have everything that marriage offers without formally tying the knot?" There are many reasons for this. The most important one is secular education and scientific temperament of people which make them question everything, including age-old social mores and customs. Women have become independent socially and financially and see no problem in living alone. As a result, live-in relationships have become quite common.
World history ironically, is replete with tales of polygamy, polyandry and other juicy tales of men and their mistresses. Although living in is still looked upon as a taboo in society, there is a definite increase in such relationships over the years.
This generation is frequently blamed for being too financial independent, unwilling to commit or make compromises- hence the need to be in a relationship that is easy to get out of. Of course, with regard to this topic, there is no right or wrong.
Whether you choose to live in with your partner or not, depends entirely on both your perspectives, morals, families and more importantly, how you both see your future together. After all, should society have the last word to decide that marriage and not living in is the only socially acceptable relationship?
Why is a marriage looked at with respect and a live in relationship looked at with raised eyebrows? For one, it is believed that there are no guarantees in a live in relationship
Both marriages as well as live-in arrangements have their own pros and cons, but the scale is still somewhat tilted in favour of the former.
Marriage is a commitment not only to stay monogamous but to be present as a social and emotional support also. After marriage the lives of both the individuals can become entwined as one and they begun to function as a single entity or unit.
Marriage provides one with overall stability in life. The spouse becomes an anchor, tied to which, one performs all the other functions of life. This stability is of increasing importance in the ever-changing world of today.
Marriage also leads to creation of a family unit. This family unit in turn further propagates the social ethics as are prevalent in the society. It gives shape and composure to the social set up as a whole. Marriage is not called the first building brick of the society, without any reason.
Ever since man turned into a civilised being, marriage has been the corner stone of the society. It is an accepted norm in all religions and cultures across the world. Marriage enjoys social sanctity like no other human relationship
However, marriage can have some disadvantages also. This is especially true if either one or both the partners have a strong streak of individualism. Individualism is the bane of a happy and contended married life. It can harm the relationship to an enormous extent.
Marriage means sharing. It is sharing of the finances, friends and family. In fact virtually everything that is there in a human relationship is shared in a marriage. Individualism is the exact opposite of this feeling of fraternity.
Individualism is an assertion of one's own self over and above the context of the relationship. Thus and individualistic person may feel entrapped in the marriage. He or she may not feel comfortable and yearn for greater privacy
While, Live-In Relationships are today quite popular with the young crowd. The benefits of live-in relationship are many. The foremost among these is the freedom that you get. You do not surrender any rights or accept any obligations. The relationship lasts as long as both the partners are happy with each other. There is an attitude of "you scratch my back, I scratch yours and both of us enjoy while it lasts."
A live-in relationship certainly seems to have some advantages over marriage for women, especially with a new study finding that live-in boyfriends do a lot more housework than married men.
The study was carried out by researchers at George Mason University who questioned more than 17,000 people in 28 countries.
They found that married men tend to help around the house less than live-in boyfriends.
According to study co-author, sociologist Shannon Davis, the key finding of the study is that it suggests the institution of marriage changes the division of labour.
Couples with an egalitarian view on gender—seeing men and women as equal—are more likely to divide the household chores equally. However, in married relationships, even if an egalitarian viewpoint is present, men still report doing less housework than their wives.
After some years it is natural for the partners to get bored seeing the same face every morning. That is when the charm goes out of the relationship and one tends to look for a fresh relationship with some other individual. In a live-in relationship, that is no problem. You can any day just pack your bags and move out, leaving behind just a thank-you card.
There are absolutely no legal hassles, financial complications or complex negotiations for dividing assets and debts between the partners. The arrangement sounds like a dream come true. Live together, have physical relations, and move out when bored. What can be more convenient and gratifying? No wonder, live-in relationships are getting more popular than ever.
However, there is a flip side too. Such relationships lack commitment. When the chips are down, the arrangement usually breaks down. If the partners have children, the situation becomes more complex with respect to their custody and responsibility for upbringing. Since the relationship is informal, the two individuals do not have much stake in its continuity and whenever problems arise, they decide it is much easier to split rather than make efforts to solve them.
The Indian Supreme Court's (SC) decision that a live-in-relationship should be treated as equivalent to marriage is set to change the dynamics of such relationships. The court's proposal was followed by similar suggestions from the National Commission for Women (NCW), which in seeking to change the definition of 'wife' recommended that women in live-in relationships should be entitled to maintenance if the man deserts her.
By giving live-in relationships the status of a marriage gets defeated.
Now more and more men and women alike would opt for this arrangement of convenience against the institution of marriage.
